Before you jump all over the concept of Home Run Derby X, think back to when you were a kid and you could only round up five kids in the neighborhood, and you had to invent some sort of knock-off version of baseball. (If you’re a kid right now: Yes, we used to do this sort of thing.)
That’s kind of what Home Run Derby X looks like to me. I have no idea if it will be fun, but it’s OK to try something a little different. Who knows, it might actually work, and maybe in 10 years we’ll see Bobby Witt Jr. and Julio Rodriguez competing in the Crypto Cyber Exchange Home Run Derby X Spring Training Extravaganza Tournament.
In the meantime, the initial version of the tournament will feature four-person teams representing the Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees, Los Angeles Dodgers and Chicago Cubs. Each team includes a franchise legend — and, well, “legend” is used a little loosely here as the team representatives are Jonny Gomes (Red Sox), Nick Swisher (Yankees), Adrian Gonzalez (Dodgers) and Geovany Soto (Cubs). All good players at their best, and Gonzalez was a big star during his heyday. But I have a few other nominees that might be a little more enjoyable to watch, especially some dudes who are just complete mashers.
Red Sox
David Ortiz: Of course we want Big Papi in this thing. He’s just 46, and I’m pretty sure he could join the Red Sox right now and hit .275 with 30 bombs.
Manny Ramirez: I just want to point out that from 1998 to 2006, Manny averaged 127 RBIs per season, although I don’t think RBIs are a stat in Home Run Derby X.
Wily Mo Pena: On second thought, maybe Wily Mo should rep the Sox — he played two seasons for them and actually hit .301 in 2005. Check out this 600-foot home run (give or take).
Yankees
Alex Rodriguez: A-Rod only competed in two Home Run Derbies in his career and didn’t fare too well either time. It’s time for redemption.
Ichiro Suzuki: OK, he’s more of a Mariners legend, but everyone has always wanted to see Ichiro in a Home Run Derby — and he had some big home runs for the Yankees. He still works out every day with the Mariners, so he’s in game shape.
Derek Jeter: I hear he has some time on his hands.
Dodgers
Mike Piazza: The man hit .362 one year. With 40 home runs. As a catcher. And didn’t win MVP honors. He’s still the only Dodgers player to hit one out of Dodger Stadium.
Manny Ramirez, again: Hey, if we get Ortiz as the Red Sox legend, we can shift Manny over to the Dodgers.
Jim Thome: Umm, hello, he played 17 games for the Dodgers in 2009.
Cubs
Glenallen Hill: Oh, yes, most definitely.
Sammy Sosa: It’s time for Sosa and the Cubs to make up.
Dave Kingman: OK, at 73 he’s a little long in the tooth, but I bet he can still hit it 450 feet.